Call Me By Your Name
Cmbyn is not just a romance film...
“Is it better to speak or to die?”
The first time I watched the cinematic piece Call me by your name was in 2021, Quarantine. I had just gotten an abundance amount of passion for film and was attempting to watch every film buffs favourite movies. Little did I know, this film would change my perception for the next three years. I was a 2022 graduate, and was obsessed with English… and this film. So much that I wrote my final english essay on it. It is so much more than a romance film, it speaks to the soul in a language that not many people can understand.
"Feel something you obviously did"
The main factor I took away from this film is it’s ability to make me feel like it’s okay to “feel something I obviously did”. To acknowledge your emotion is the first step in healing. This film placed me into the perspective of feeling absolutely everything in life. The entirety of the Father Son monologue moved me. He speaks to his son, who is clearly experiencing an abundance of pain and unknowingness.
The point of view displayed by Mr Perlman (Elio’s father) insanely displays his intense regret of allowing his past life fly by him as he’s denied himself of feeling every ounce of emotion. Elio is lucky enough to have an adult displaying his deep regrets of ignoring his emotions. He is guided to accept his heartbreak for what it is, to feel the pain that comes with it. “We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster” Mr Perlman says. What I took from this scene is the universal choice of an easy fix. To be cured of experiences faster is to forget, dismiss from the mind and to erase. That is an easy fix, yet by the time we’ve cured ourselves, our souls display nothing but weakness. We dismiss ourselves from emotion, meaning we don’t allow ourselves to gain strength from new experiences.
We live our lives based off our minds. Our minds determine the quality of our lives. What i realised was allowing my mind to accept pain, happiness, passion or even anger brings eternal peace to my mind. We experience so much in our lifetime, to not acknowledge those emotions, to not feel those emotions that come out of each of our experiences means we are just soulless bodies on earth. Why do we limit ourselves of emotions, why do we deny it when it it OUR experience.
But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything — what a waste!
Whether it’s facing pain or happiness, it is our human right to allow ourselves to feel it. We tend to make ourselves go numb of feeling, just so we don’t have to feel the emotions that come with an experience. But if we neglect our experiences, why are we alive? What will we learn? How will we grow?
Our experiences are what shape us! and we choose to deny them?
From the soundtrack, to the monologue, to the tone of the set. Call me by your Name undeniably places viewers on a journey of recognising on-self as simple human beings. We will inevitably experience heart aches, moments of joy, and moments of anxiety. This film sets the tone of accepting our experiences and to feel whatever it is our hearts or mind wants us to feel.